A couple of forevers

I try to scramble and make this pen write faster than I can form my thoughts. You are once again the topic on my mind. All the what ifs and all the scenarios that I replay like a broken record before I give up with yet another headache. Mixed up half written thoughts asking questions to the you I once knew because the you that is here is foreign to me. What’s the last book you read? What’s your favorite cookie? What inspires you to become a better man than you were yesterday? Intrigued to know how your love flows but scared that mine will look like baggage. So I stand here not sure of what’s in front of me but ready to share past hurts and current fears. Don’t judge me when the two start to intertwine. Because I lost my voice at one point. Just went with the flow didn’t want to become the “dramatic” girl. Lost my footing and became that girl. Scared to open up because I never wanted to lose a love even if that love was hurting me. Moved on from that place and fell in love with me first. Got my voice back and I know where I stand. Confident in who I am growing to be. So I won’t ask for a fairy tale I just want a love that doesn’t hurt.