Unseen

It happens to be that I am lonely. That I could possibly be depressed. That I no longer live I just exist. My surroundings are no longer pleasurable they are the source of what causes the pain at the front of my head. 

I’m yelling at noises that once filled my heart with laughter. The thought of falling asleep just to start my day – for it to end just like this – all over again annoys me. 

I don’t even want to smile I’m pissed. I don’t even know when I got this bad, oh but baby, I’m thoroughly pissed. Distant and trying it find my way back 

I want silence and I want peace. Instead my eyes are holding back a flood of tears that are waiting to meet the world. My heart aches for something that my mind knows nothing about. 

Days blend into weeks that blend into months that overlap years

Food doesn’t taste like the words that describe them. At the moment food is eaten because without it my body wouldn’t survive. Robotics movements go together with the rest of this horrific scene

So can I get the sand beneath my feet and a drink in my hand? Can I get a sun hat to shield my eyes and have a cool breeze wake me from a nap? Because without it my body is going to give in. Not because my health is lacking but because it’s lacking everything else