I try to scramble and make this pen write faster than I can form my thoughts. You are once again the topic on my mind. All the what ifs and all the scenarios that I replay like a broken record before I give up with yet another headache. Mixed up half written thoughts asking questions to the you I once knew because the you that is here is foreign to me. What’s the last book you read? What’s your favorite cookie? What inspires you to become a better man than you were yesterday? Intrigued to know how your love flows but scared that mine will look like baggage. So I stand here not sure of what’s in front of me but ready to share past hurts and current fears. Don’t judge me when the two start to intertwine. Because I lost my voice at one point. Just went with the flow didn’t want to become the “dramatic” girl. Lost my footing and became that girl. Scared to open up because I never wanted to lose a love even if that love was hurting me. Moved on from that place and fell in love with me first. Got my voice back and I know where I stand. Confident in who I am growing to be. So I won’t ask for a fairy tale I just want a love that doesn’t hurt.
honest
An aunties love
Beautiful waves and soft smiles. Sweet caresses and stolen kisses. Embraces that seem to linger well after the hug is over. Stolen memories from the past that seem to crawl up without a moments notice. Slow dancing to engraved music that plays to your heart beat. Soft hands that trace your face as you sleep. Hands that delicate feel like they barely touch you. Yet somehow they leave such impact on you. Impossible it seems… Impossible that love can be formed that quickly. That a touch was all that was needed to imprint on your life. So stare a little longer. hold them a little tighter and remember their smell for always. They won’t always be babies but they will always be my nieces and one nephew … For now!
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